You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
