I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize