Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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