I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
