belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
