a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize