Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
