What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
