I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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