you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
