My friends, they love my intelligence
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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