Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
