I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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