At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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