i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
