Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
