i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
