I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
they're like a gay fantastic four
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize