Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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