About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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