chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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