I want you more than these girls want KFC
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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