Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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