Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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