My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
