I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think I sprained my soul last night
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize