I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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