If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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