we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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