Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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