What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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