Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
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