I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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