I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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