My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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