More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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