I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
