haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
