I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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