I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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