real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
