I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The power of my boobs compel you
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
