as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
