he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
