somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
