Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
