id be glad to
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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