dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
dude. I can hear the air.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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