Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
