Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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