Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
