So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
