Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize