quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
