some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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