Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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