GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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