is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize